.... The Messy Mind of J'rod: July 2005
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Happy Birthday Alison!!!


Well, it's not officially Alley-Cat's Birthday until August 2nd, but the weekend was pretty much dedicated to her. This is how it went down...

I got a call Saturday afternoon during my work shift. It was Alley-Cat calling to say she was gonna pick me up from work so that we could make it up in Cambridge in time for dinner. You see, that's where she and her parents live. I haven't seen her parents in four years! As you may be able to tell, I was excited. However, the ambush of a call from Alley-Cat had me worried. I hadn't had a chance to shower in the morning (after coming home from a night of work on the patio), and I'd just be finishing a shift in the smoky bar. And she was going to pick me up and go straight to see her parents after four years?!? Damn!!! Luckily, she was running late, so I had a chance to get home and shower. Alley-Cat soon picked me up, and drove us out to Cambridge. On the highway we met up with Rob, one of her friends from Nova Scotia (where the bank is) and proceeded to the Ide residence. It was really good seeing the family again (I finally met her older sister; I can put a face to the name now), including Bradley the dog. After a lovely evening of Filet Mignon, Sambucca, and birthday cake, we headed back to the great T.O. to go clubbing. The Docks was where it was at. We met up with another friend (Heather), her friends, and a pen-pal from Korea (Don't ask, 'cause I don't know). About 30 drinks later (14 to Alley-Cat, and the rest divided between 6 of us) we headed (stumbled) out of the club (I love using brackets). AND JO-JO WAS THERE!!

Okay, so, Rob, Alley-Cat, and I crashed at my place, then woke up to a pretty frickin' annoying alarm coming from a cell phone (sorry Rob). This day promised us Tim Horton’s, the movies, swimming, and a lot of driving around. I'm pooped.... OH OH, speaking of poop...

So like, we're waiting for Heather to get ready to leave, and she brings out her pet bird. I held it for a bit, and then decided to set it down on Rob's shoulder. The second I did, it took a crap on the front of his shirt. But this crap was friggin' disgusting! Imagine poutine with cheese curds and pudding mixed in (I'm thinking poutine because that's what Alley-Cat ate later on, and it reminded me of the bird crap). It was sooooo so so so so soooo gross!! And funny.

Well, I hope you had a good weekend Alley-Cat. Thanks for inviting me out, it was a blast!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A House, Guitar, and Poker.


Well, I tried not to break the news until I was sure everything worked out...
I've got a new home! Bee, B2, and I are moving into a townhouse just south of
Fairview Mall. It's gonna be awesome!!! I dunno why we all didn't think of it before. It's a three bedroom townhouse with two exits (front main floor and back basement).
This is gonna be so great!
As for my guitar lessons (just started), I can't put the thing down. My fingers hurt, and I love it! B2 taught me "Everybody Hurts" by REM. I can't wait to be an Awesome Rock Star!!!
Well, I'm off to play some poker with the boys.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

The Window Is Shut, You Can't See In.

In place of this entry, there was a cry for help. It was expressed from my mind, through my fingers, and written like a plea of release. It was the unadultered, raw truth of my heart which I never truly realized was there. It was a window into my soul; one that I do not wish to be open at this time. So I have shut it. I am not ready to expose my disorder to the world.
MC Escher's Eye. And Mine.

Friday, July 22, 2005

I'm So Ronery...

Yesterday I sar Team America: World Porice, and it ras reary, reary funny!! I suppose you're rundering rhy I'm speaking in this ridicurous accent... rell if you are, then you probabry didn't ratch the movie. Here's a hint: sritch the "R"s that don't seem right for either "L"s or "W"s. Or just rent the virero.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

It's a BOY!!!


So my predictions were off, but Mazel-Tov!
Little Jacob was born Early July 17th, 2005. Congrats again Vu and Josee! (Good job not calling them "Vusee")

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I Got Into A Fight!!!

Man! So I was at the local bar, and this little guy sits up next to me and says, "Hey there buddy, is this seat taken?" I didn't like the way he was talking to me, so I said, "Yeah, for anyone but you!" He didn't take that too well, but I wasn't concerned. After all, the guy was like, almost half my size! But then he was all like, "What's your problem buster?" And I was all, "My problem is YOU, Mac!" Turns out that was his name, but I was just razzing him. He then said to me, "You want to settle this man to man?" And though I thought this was getting pathetic, I was in the mood for a good fight. I told him "sure," so he then gave me a card with an address and a time written on it. He left just after. I looked around at all the people staring at me as if I just challenged Chuck Norris to a Karate Tournament. I took one more swig of my drink and left to go meet my adversary. When I got to the place I was immediately greeted by this guy who looked like Popeye. Without a word, he gave me some boxing gloves and pointed in the direction of a boxing ring. There was that little Mac, just waiting for his fight. I thought to myself, “This is just retarded! I’m gonna kick his ass!” But little did I know that I would be having the workout of my life. As soon as I stepped into the ring a little Italian guy with a big nose and ridiculous moustache stepped in and said, “Fight!” in a monotone voice.

It was on. Mac played it cool for a while, watching to see if I had any giveaways. I found out later that apparently I have this twitch that just before throwing a jab, I blink three times. Who does that? Who gives away their moves by blinking three times!?! Geez, I’d rather twitch my head or have a ruby that shines just before I make a move, but blinking three times?!? That’s just silly.

Anyway, we were going at it for like 3 rounds when the Italian guy (incidentally wearing a hat with an ‘M’ on it) pulled us apart and declared the round over. That night I made a friend. And as my first act derived from my newfound respect for Little Mac, I’m going to tell the world never to mess with the little guy!

The Science of Superheroes

I just finished creating a side blog called "The Science of Superheroes."
I've always wondered if some of the so called 'special abilities' of renouned heroes and villains could be feasible (according to science). Every so often I'll initiate a discussion regarding a particular hero / villain, and their power. Feel free to add to the discussion by posting comments. The link to the blog can be found on my "links bar" or can be accessed through:

Congrats Vu and Josee!!

Wow, well... First order of business:

Congratulations Vu and Josee on your new addition to the family! Congrats Thao, you're an Aunt! But I don't remember if you said it was a boy or a girl. Hmm... if I were to guess (and this is a 50/50 shot; I did pass math class, remember?) I'd say that they had a... a girl! The reason I made this prediction is because I got your text message and then fell back to sleep. I dreamt (dreamed?) they had a girl. Of course in my delirious state of half-sleep I remember thinking to myself, "Oh good, she said she's an aunt. that means it's a girl." As opposed to you being an uncle. I'm such a dumbass! Either way here are my predictions for the child:

In the very early stages of life, little Vusee will bring a fresh sense of unification within the family. It will be early recognized that this child has a talent in the arts (so make sure you buy the washable crayons). Vusee will also have a keen mind; excelling in most classes. As Vusee grows into a cultured and diverse individual, all who meet Vusee will feel a sense of comfort and kindness.

And the crystal ball just went black. I must've forgot to pay the Hydro bill.
Well that's all for now. Keep on scrolling!

joke of the day...week.


A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He has probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.

If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous if he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey, I love you."

To which the wife responded, "he wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you too.".

Friday, July 15, 2005

It's Friday night, and I'm at Home... Blogging.

I feel like categorizing what I have to say right now (so that my fans can choose what they want to read) (oh, and currently... people visiting my site = 0). Okay, here goes...

WORK: So today I worked the patio, on such a glorious evening. Made a tiny bit of coin, and got to relax through most of the shift. What really helped me through the slow night was the abundance of eye-candy; a rarity within the usual assortment of guests. I don't mean to sound too much like a dogg (yes, with two G's), but after all, I am a guy. So at one point I could recall seeing 7 of the 15 patrons on the patio as either extremely beautiful in the 'supermodel' sense, or beautiful in the 'I can't believe how charismatic you are, I just want to take care of your meal and drinks for you' sense. That ratio is pretty rare considering we (at Jack Astor's) have a secret phrase we punch into the computer whenever we see a smokin' girl at one of our tables, in order to inform the others that there is some serious eye candy in the restaurant. Man that sounded pathetic! Of course, there's also an employee I've been eyeing for a little while whom I kinda' like. But I of all people should know the golden rule within the workplace: NEVER DATE SOMEONE YOU WORK WITH!!! But the truth is, I never really take that rule seriously (which usually leads to bad news down the line). Okay, moving on... Before this sounds too much like a cry for female attention!

The Jack Astor’s International Bartenders Competition is coming up in August, as well as the Alumni Competition. The alumni will allow any previous or current Jack’s employee to try out for a singles competition at flair. I’m getting a little nervous, but want to put on a good show. Here's a picture of this guy Martin, flairing as an illustration as to what it looks like:

I don't have any close-ups of me flairing bottles, or they'd be on display.

SCHOOL: I got my "friggin' A!" I was pretty scared that I'd have to rewrite the exam, and all week (twice a day) I'd check to see if the marks were posted. Well they came in today, and the result was an A in Mathematics. This means that as soon as I get my diploma, I'm a bona-fide certified genuine Industrial Biotechnologist! You know what that means?!?! MORE SCHOOL!! Yippeee! Well I suppose I could look for a job like what my other friends have: Quality technician for a meat packaging plant, water toxin tester for a pharmaceutical manufacturer, or an ink quality assurance facilitator. I'm a little peeved I suppose... I really wanted this education to allow me to make a difference in the world. Food quality isn't good enough for me. I really want to expand, so I think I may go back to school again (yeash!). I'll try and save money for a while, while I decide what university course I could apply to. Ultimately I think I want to become a teacher (which requires a University degree). It's a very long term goal, but a goal none the less.

LEASURE: I'm actually reading a book! Who does that? Well, I really wanted to culture myself a little, and took interest in the classics. I ended up choosing the novel "The Picture Of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde. It's a tale of a man of such beauty, that an artist captures in his paintings. At one point however, the man ceases to age and wither, while the portrait of the man ages in time. Everything evil act Dorian Gray commits is not reflected on him, but in the portrait instead, leaving him forever young in a macabre sort of way.

I've also decided to take guitar lessons once a week. My first class will be on Monday, and I'm being incredibly impatient!! I’ve already purchased the guitar. It is a left-handed acoustic. Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!

To Kitten: I wish you the best of luck this and next weekend, while your parents are in town. Call me if you need anything.
To Alley-Cat: Congats on your new car! It’s an awesome ride!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Gimme My Friggin' A+!!!!

Hello, my name is Jared and I have a drinking problem…
Two men (one who’s drunk) walk into a bar and orders two drinks each. One of them gets one with two shots and the other gets one with one shot and the other with two. If the ceiling they drank under is arced at a 36° angle, what is the tangent of the isosceles triangle?

Here’s the real problem (boring stuff, don’t bother reading it):
So I found out last semester that I'm required to take another math and GNED (general education) class in order to graduate, and receive my diploma. I decided to take them in summer school to get them out of the way; lest I wait another whole semester to take them. I wrote my last exam on Thursday (My VERY last exam ever in this school), and have not received my mark yet. The way that the class is set up is a little sketchy. Math 186 is divided into two parts: Statistics and logarithms. I passed the stats part with a low 90’s, but my concern is with the second portion of the class. You are required to pass both exams to pass math 186, and I think I received a 50 in the exam (by my own judgment). If I failed that part, not only am I gonna have to write the exam again (or take the whole course over), but I’m not eligible for graduation until I do. Sucks.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Staple Food

The Emnity in Jack Astor's

I just woke up.

I'm going back to slee.....

WOAH! I just woke up in front of my computer! Maybe I'll go back to sleep. Nah! But I really should run my Adaware (not because I downloaded anything that would contain, um... "viruses."

So today's the day I take my dad out for his birthday (last week). We're gonna go to
The Rivoli on Queen Street 'cause they have this appetizer called Wookie Balls. They also always have live shows and comedy sketches, which we're gonna check out. Should be fun!

Vic and I are also gonna scope out this computer shop that sells stuff REALLY cheap. You know, like a CD spindle of 100 for only $19. Purdy cheap!

And this just in...
Dr. No
just called me to see if I'd join him, Jen-A, and A-Sac for lunch at The Keg. You see, there are a lot of problems within the ranks of Jack Astor's DMC (where I work). If the managers aren't screwing us over one way, they're doing it in another form. I can usually just ignore the problems and work without any problems, however recently I had a huge dispute regarding the way I was being perceived by the management crew. I felt that though I've been there for four and a half years without a problem, I have never received any form of acknowledgment or acclaim. My shifts were lousy, and one manager in particular had shown much offense to me that was totally unprovoked. I was ready to quit and apply at the Keg, but not before having a sit down with the general manager (Steve). Surprisingly, after the meeting much was cleared up, and things are looking up for me right now. The manager who seemed disgruntled with me turned out to be disgruntled with everybody. She’s had a talking to. As for my shifts, the very next week I received a good amount of bar shifts, with a few patio shifts. Can’t complain with that. All in all things worked out … this time. As for the others I mentioned earlier; they’re fed up with the lousy treatment and the ridiculous decisions being made. They want to scope out the Keg to see if it would be a place worth working at. I said I’d join them since it’s right across the street from my house. I hope things work out for you guys, though I’d hate to see you leave.
And this just just in...
I gotta do my laundry, big time!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

My first Single...I mean...Blog!

Okay... here it is!
My first blog (which of course will regard absolutely nothing). How do I start?
...
How 'bout like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear J-ROD,
Do you take off your wrestling mask and boxing gloves off before you go to bed?
Sincerely,
Abdi LaRue
San Diego, CA
a>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HEY! Where'd that come from? Man, my blog must be getting mixed up with that "Dangeresque" guy!
Okay, let's try again:
Welcome, welcome, welcome! Step right up ... introducing the star of our show... his name is ...
J-ROD!!!
That's right folks! Don't miss out on this spectacular gala that is the blog of Jrod. It is sure to be filled with dumbass comments, references to television and/or video games, and possibly the occasional spelling mistcake.
Tell your friends! Tell your family! But don't tell your friends' family, because well ... you know.
Okay, well that's it for now. Go away.