.... The Messy Mind of J'rod: January 2006
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Saturday, January 21, 2006

Oscar Moment!

First and foremost... I got my G2 (no.. not the guy who sits a the end of the bar, drinking Coors Light and playing Megatouch) on Thursday! That was pretty friggin' exciting considering I never bothered to get it when I was younger, and if I didn't pass this time I'd have to start all over again. Thanks everyone who pitched in with the driving experience. Brad lent me his car the most, so thank you for that. Caramel let me drive once, along with Jo-Jo, and even Rochelle (I brought her car closer to Jack's from the spot she parked. I was sooo tempted to do something like drive off, but her car was very strange to handle.). Bee... thank you once again for the lessons. And I'd like to thank the producers at Warner Brothers, umm... Spike Lee: What a passionate director. Umm.. Who else? I'd like to thank my mom for supporting me *sniff!* *sniff!* and making all this possible. I... *sniff!* ...I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm crying... *sniff!* UHHM... Their telling me to wrap it up... *sniff!* I'd, I'd like to also thank all of you fans, because *sniff!*, because without you there wouldn't be jobs for people like us *PWAAAAaaaaaa!* Thank you!

So lately I had another one of those "Philosophy Attacks" where you're hit by a series of self imposed questions about your life. You know, when you're sitting in a coffee shop pondering things like: "what am I really doing with my life?" and "why am I struggling so much with my faith?" I get hit with these depressing attacks quite often, but I think it is becasue I'm A) not entirely satisfied with my life, and B) I'm always trying to be all I can be, but with minimal success. I then contemplate what really matters in life, what I still want to accomplish, and why I have these attacks in the first place. It's entirely possible I'm more messed up than I originally thought I was. I'm a romantic at heart, and for all those times I'm attracted to a girl it's for a long term investment (unlike most guys). I look at a girl as a potential wife, not a chick I can have one night with. But in my search for a potential life partner I have discovered that almost everyone in the world is mentally unstable. There are a few I know who have a good head on their shoulders, but most people have this one major hang-up that when exposed would classify them as borderline crazy! And it's always something big enough that you can't just "learn to live with." Take me for example. Generally, I'm an average good guy who knows how to act in society accordingly. I'm sensitive to people's feelings, and always try to keep peace with everyone. There is also my wacky side which everyone has seen. My jokes are quick and my timing isn't bad, and I don't mind embarrassing myself every once in a while. But then there are my ticks. I think aloud when alone, and my mind wanders to impossible thoughts like "what if gravity suddenly reversed?" I'm often depressed over something (usually pertaining to my faith, or lack thereof), and I feel as though I have Truman Syndrome: When you think that your life is really one big television show, and you're the star. Is that f*cked up, or what? Who the heck wants to be with a guy who's often depressed and thinks he's in a friggin' movie? Okay, whatever. I came to terms with who I am a long time ago, and don't need anyone to say, "there, there." I'm fine with it, and come to the point where I can control myself. But that was just an example of how messed up people are on the inside. Must be all the chemicals in our food. I mean, geez. I chew Dentyne Cinnamon gum like there's no tomorrow, and it contains Acesulfame-Potassium, and Soy Lecithin. Does anybody truly know the long term effects of all these chemicals? Maybe the world has become one big chemical imbalance! Maybe these chemicals are placed in various items to shorten our lifespan to control the population! Maybe gravity will reverse itself!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The Science Of The Four

Behold! My new installment of ScOS has arrived. Check out my long-winded bashing of the origin or The Fantastic Four. And for the love of Galactus, please comment your thoughts or feelings on the subject.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Persona Makeover

It has been quite an eventful week, I must say. It was the first official week of me living at the old place; house and dog sitting for the old landlords. I've had some trouble sleeping since I'm back in the dark and cold basement. I'd move to the couch one day, and by the end of the week I had to take one of the beds upstairs just to get a good night's rest.

Sunday was TP's birthday party at the Firkin. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thursday was Thao's birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (I owe you dinner). On Saturday Leah is leaving our fine country for Costa Rica. I'm gonna miss ya' while you're gone, but I'm glad you're moving forward with your life unlike so many of us who seem to be in a stagnant position. Just remember... they probably don't air Desperate Housewives in Costa Rica.

In other news... They've officially announced the Bartender's Competition teams for this year. It seems that Leppi is stuck with me (I'm gonna make him work!). Splooge and Marta have partnered up, as have Tsiokos and Gen. The last two teams are Bee and Brad, and Nate and Kazu. I believe these are good team choices, as each person is working with someone on their own level. Therefore no one will feel intimidated by their partner. Leppi and I have already got our music, but prob'ly won't start practicing until the day of.

The Ski Cup is scheduled for the beginning of March, so Lip Synch is well on its way as well. Caramel holds the reins this year, and I have total faith that she's gonna bring us to the top! We got our first practice in last night, and it looked pretty good considering the amount of left feet in the room. I'd love to divulge more about the Synch, but who knows... There may be readers from Jacks Dorval, waiting to steal our act (SUCKOCKER!!).

And now for something completely different... I finally got a haircut (I'm pretty sure I mentioned that in the last blog, but we'll see when I publish it). It's quite a different look for me, as it's a little spunky, yet preppy. The place I went was DBK in Victoria Terrace. I highly recommend the place; they were very professional, but social enough so that you don't feel uncomfortable while staring at their armpits as they wash your hair. Furthermore, I got a new tattoo. Marta and I went together since she wanted one as well. She came out with a smile on her face; I came out dizzy and nauseous. I don't know what happened. I was fine for five, six minutes, then a wave of nausea came over me. I started to sweat buckets as I heated up. I must've gone into shock. So Marta (the man b/w the two of us) helped me back on my feet as we headed out. Funny... that didn't happen after my last tattoo.

This week also seemed to be the week where I've indulged in some quality time with friends. I got to spend a day with Alley-Cat, catch up with my old friend Ronni, had extensive conversations with Caramel, I did something cool with Marta (the tatt), and I even got to chill with my brother for an evening. How often does one get so much accomplished in one week?

Anyway, it's weird what can happen in such a short time.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


I finally got a haircut, so I can be part of society again. No more hiding behind a mask (at least for two months until I need another haircut).

I was watching some episodes of Transformers season three. They're the cool episodes since they take place after the movie. So, I thought there was an amusing line in "The Dweller in the Depths" (Ep 3 x 19) when the Autobots were fighting off a giant energy-sucking creature. Ultramagnus ( ), the leader of the team was being sucked of his energy. Wreckgar ( ), the television watching and speaking Autobot came to save him as he shouted, "YO JOE!"
I thought that was brilliant! A Transformer who watches TV, uses the GI JOE line!!!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Funniest thing I've seen in a while!!!

I couldn't stop laughing for nearly 10 minutes, and it hurt so much to laugh. Oh geez... if you don't laugh at this you love animals waaaay too much!


LMAO!!!! Oh, it still hurts!!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Impede This You Lousy Examiner!

Autobots... transform, and impede traffic!

So I failed my driving exam today. I can honestly say that I feel I should've passed, and that the examiner had a hidden agenda. He told me the reason I failed was because on the one left turn I made, I was going only 8-10km/h which would impede traffic. First of all, there was only one other car, and it was behind me. Secondly, I know for a fact I was doing at least 10km/h because it took some amount of gas to turn as it was also up hill. I had to watch the speedometer anyway. Lastly, it's no reason to fail me, considering I'm a "safe" driver otherwise. I mean, isn't that what they're examining? It's not like I wasn't reaching the speed limit; I just didn't turn fast enough for his taste, and he failed me on that. You know what? I didn't really go in expecting to pass considering I'm a new driver, and had a crash course. But I was calm, made smooth lane changes and turns, and follow all the rules. I even parallel parked for Pete's sake! So to fail me due to slow turning really erks me!!

I heard the company for road examinations had recently gone private. They make a lot of money with re-tests and such. I even heard someone recently failed so many times for absolutely no reason. When they finally contested it, and made a big thing out of it, they passed right away. I was even told a story about how one person failed because the examiner said they crashed into another car. The guy said, "no I didn't! What are you talking about?" And the examiner said, "well don't get snippy with me. There's no way you're passing now!" Can you believe that? The guy said he crashed the car, and there wasn't a scratch on it! It's all about money these days.

Anyway, to move on, I just want to tell a quick story that really bothered me today (other than the fail). A buddy of mine (Mike) has a girlfriend who went away for a few months. They're together for a long time now, and have had few problems. Before she went away they thought about breaking up for reasons regarding how long she'd be away. They decided to stay together and keep a phone/email relationship. About a month ago Mike and I were chatting and he was saying that he missed her, but didn't really know what was going on in their relationship. He said he had opportunities to date other girls but wanted to wait for this girl to return.

So tonight he gets this email from his girlfriend that seemed to point out their differences in a carefully written way. It then sums up by saying, well I'm seeing this other guy now..." WTF!!! I mean, I really feel for Mike. Her Email said things like "So I don't really drink anymore, and I seemed to develope an allergy for cats..." Which mean't, "We have nothing in common since we used to go out drinking a lot, and since you have a cat, I wouldn't be able to come over anymore." She seemed to be justifying that fact that she was seeing another guy because she can't friggin' hold out until she returned to Mike. I'm not usually one to bash people, but what a bitch! She broke up with him via Email to boot! I may have flaws of my own, but I sure know the reprocussions of cheating, and I don't do it. Mike... I hope it doesn't take you too long to realize you've lost nothing, and move on.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Years Eve!

It's 2:30pm and I just got up out of bed. Guess that's what happens when you work so late the night before. I was lucky though. They let me go early at Jack's when Tsiokos came in to cocktail. I was able to rest up, take the dog out, and go to work by 6:00pm. Philthy's didn't actually get busy until about 10:30, but from then on it was a pretty good party! The staff wore beads for the marti-gras theme, and female guests were supposed to do anything they could to try and get the most beads. The person with the most beads at the end of the night got a big prize of some sort. This of course resulted in all kinds of behaviour (do we Canadians spell behaviour with or w/o the "u" ?). Some girls were dancing on the bar, and removing their tops, while others gave the DJ a lap dance. It was quite funny as the DJ is a 400 pound man; two girls gave him a lap dance at the same time! Meanwhile, some girls were resorting to flashing and other less couth techniques. My beads only went to those who seemed to have some class (which is few and far between at a place like Philthy's). All in all it was a good night. We were open 'til 3:00am instead of the usual 2:00am, since it's the only night of the year we're legally allowed to do so. This meant that after cleanup and cashing out, I didn't get home until about 4:15am. I didn't see to many of my peeps last night, just Bee, Cozey, and T'panga. I hope everyone else had an awesome new years eve. Guess what? It's 2006 baby!