.... The Messy Mind of J'rod: November 2006
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

On the Road to Recovery

Sorry folks, but this entry is going to be quite vague due to its sensitive, and personal nature.
Tonight I believe God tested me to see if I had reformed from an incident that took place a few weeks ago. I know I passed, but not with flying colours.
Three weeks ago my life had hit a pivotal moment; it was a time of drastic change that could only come to me when I hit rock bottom. I am so grateful for those events, if only because the aftermath made me a better person. And tonight the same damning situation arose again, but in the end I was able to squirm out of it, though I wish it didn't take me so long to do it.
I really have to be more careful though. I need to take preventative measures so that I can avoid such situations all together.
Okay, it's like this... Imagine I was addicted to oranges, alright something more realistic: I'm addicted to drugs. I've been taking them all my life, all the while knowing that they are bad but not doing anything to stop myself. Then one day I overdose so badly that not only do I hurt myself, but the ones I love. I finally realize I'm slowly ruining my life, and any chance of living the dreams I may have. So I go cold turkey. Completely drug free. This lasts for three weeks until at another time of weakness, an opportunity to take drugs arises again. My dealer is practically shoving the drug in my face saying "you know you want it." After an hour of saying to myself "yes Jared, you want to do the drug so badly, but you know you can't. So how are you going to explain this in a nice way?" I finally realize that this is ridiculous! Here I am, trying to be drug free, and this whole time I'm worried about how to turn my dealer down nicely?!?
In the end push came to shove, and my only alternative was to be an ass, just to pass God's test.
But did I really handle the situation the best I could? probably not. If I was smart I would have seen it coming before it happened, and dodged the bullet, instead of letting it graze me a little.
And yes, I'm human and can't be perfect. And yes I am so VERY grateful that I held true to myself. I'm just so very sick of these games.
Now despite whatever you may think is really going on in my head (since I never had a drug problem in my life), you're probably wrong.
And now it's like, 2:10am. It actually took me half an hour to write this. I must be tired.

Monday, November 20, 2006

You Tube Junky

Aww man, I just looked over some hilarious YouTube vids. I started off by looking at Farhan's Website, where he put up a video that seems to make me laugh in even the crapiest of moods...
Then I browsed a little more and found...
Friggin' hilarious, though the end was a little weird (just before it went black). Of course a deleted scene from the Borat movie can be found here...
I know he has racial slurs that should offend me, but for some reason what he said at the end had me in stitches. I even did one of those laughs that sound like a choking walrus, when you breathe in too hard. It was just funny on at least two levels. One being the blatant disregard for women in a sexual way. Aww, I hope no one is mad at me for laughing at that (Sorry Ronni, in advance). But sometimes things are so blatantly wrong to say, that my first reaction was to burst out laughing.
okay... and this one too, if you like Walken.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Panic! Mannequin.

Click for My Rant!I went to see the Panic! At The Disco concert tonight. Jess was right... they do suck live. Actually so much so, that when I went to listen to them again on my mp3 player, I had to shut it off in revulsion. I'm probably going to delete all the songs from them on my computer. Meanwhile, Jack's Mannequin (one of the opening bands) was quite good. I don't really know their songs all that well, but he is great live (better than in my headset), and quite talented. Okay, That is all for tonight.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I'm an Actor!

Okay, so I was asked to perform in a short preview a while back (as you may recall). Well the final copy is out, and can be seen here:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1424192888